Hockey You Hoser!!

If you're too young to remember where that comes from, you're probably not too young to realize - there's NO HOCKEY going on puck-face!



That's right, there's a hockey lockout. Didn't notice? Well, it's probably because all American eyes have been turned to Boston (winning the World Series - even though it's not literally a "WORLD" series... anyway...)and also to the New England Patriots football team - who are unbeaten err, scratch that. Pittsburgh handed the Patriots their lunch this afternoon. Boo hoo.

But who friggin cares about football! I mean, it only gets interesting near super bowl time anyway. And when was the last time a linebacker had a stick horked up his crotch or a puck blasted in his knee cap? Ever see a bench clearing brawl in football, golf, tennis or soccer? (Non-European Soccer). Never. Baseball yeah, but that's over my friends. Our rockem-sockem fast paced slap-shot o' rama will not be seen this YEAR because:

1 - Hockey is NOT the lowest paid sport, actually pay is higher than most sports and the owners don't know how to pay for their salary's other than capping them
2 - The players union is adamat about not being capped

The average hockey player was 1.79 Million in the 2002-2003 season. This would be a player like Nylander from the Rangers. Compared to average salary's of other sports:

Baseball: Median salary is around 2 Million. It depends on how rich your team is.
Football: Median salary is around 1 Million. The "stars" make the big bucks - but football has a salary cap.
Basketball: Median salary is around 3.5 - 4 Million. Way over paid and over rated squeeking. Remember our "dream team" in the Olympics? They're drinking too much Crystal and getting down with hoes in their hotel cribs. Nuff said.

I'm not seeing how the Hockey players are starving here. Try surviving on 45k a year and driving a 6 year old Volkswagen, dealing with a jerk boss and shuttling 2 kids around to school events. No hoes. No Porche for gettin in the playoffs. No hoes (did I mention that one already?). No bonuses. Hell, you'd be lucky to keep that 45k job in the first place.



When I see Nylander, Purinton, Matvichuk or Kapanen on 42nd living in a card board box and holding a sign saying "will shoot pucks for food", I'll give in. And waaa... I'm supposed to feel sorry for the poor guy who's only making 3.5 million as a staring defenseman or center? He's having mortgage problems on the multi-million dollar house he bought? Or he's not getting any from the model wife at home because the seasons too long? I reiterate: Waaa.



Never being one to just rant without offering a possible solution:

- Cut the teams down to 18 (there's some bucks right there baby!)
- Cut the rosters for each team down as well
- Cap those team salary's, but increase the current money for each team
- Owners cut a deal with Cable for exclusivity and get more money
- Cut the season down to 60 games (instead of 82)
- Take some of the cost savings and invest it into school programs for the next generation

Better yet, move the entire thing over to European Union. Get those countries to support professional sports. 3/4 of the NHL players are from across the Atlantic anyway.

I refuse to watch basketball, as I believe it's probably the stupidest, over-hyped, over-paid garbage ever. After following a little of the 2004 Olympics in Athens, I felt embarassed FOR the U.S. Mens basketball team. I mean, this team probably makes collectively more money than the some of the COUNTRY's that BEAT the siznizzle out of them. I'd rather watch professional bowling, tennis or golf than basketball. It has no soul. Where's Jordan when you need him. Isn't it time he comes out of retirement again? How about Dr. J... is he busy? The overpaid bling bling boneheads playing the game today are just pathetic, when they're not in court. I almost wish the Kobe Bryant case went to court - it would have been at least the most enjoyable entertainment from a basketball player I'd have seen in years!


It's a bad, expensive dream (team). And it keeps getting worse, and worse.