How to write a Liberal blog

[Tags: Weblog, blog, blogging, how to, Liberal,
Politics]]

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Today's observation instructs those who wish to start a Liberal Blog. It's actually easier than you may think.

Easy Steps to start a Liberal Blog:
1.) Find a free blog site (don't want to pay for this do you?)
2.) Pick a target
3.) Bone up on your vocabulary
4.) Email other Liberal blogs with your blog (links are important!)
5.) Recruit others who are extreme about your opinion
6.) Start writing

Let's take these one by one so I can add some detail.

1.) Find a free blog site
Easy enough - there's many out there. You're on one now, "Blogspot" sponsored by Google. Create an account, pick a format, follow directions. A 12 year old can do this it's so easy.

2.) Pick a target
You'll need something to rail against. Liberal blogs are usually political in scope so the obvious target will be the Republicans. However, you may want to specialize with things like "Congressional Republicans" or maybe "That moron Bush", or maybe even Rove or Cheney. You may also want to consider subjects like "Idiotic Red States", or "The Pentagon" or maybe "Baby Killers - the Military", "Jingoism", "Hypocrisy" etc. You get the idea. By having a broad brush with which to generalize and spread the kool-aide, this will allow you to touch on any and all subjects. A requirement here is to have a picture of a "foil hat", use many different funny quotes or pictures of a distored G.W. Bush, and link to others like Smirking Chimp or Americablog.

3.) Vocabulary is very important - but not the normal vocabulary that one may find in highschool spelling B's. Oh no. We need the Liberal vocabulary. This is key to a successful Liberal blog. Here's a short list sample of words that must be used in each and every article on your blog.

Wingnut
Neo-Con
Enablers (Ex. the enablers in the wingnut Bush administration...)
ignorant (ingnorance)
mumbo-jumbo (Ex. keep them ignorant with that mumbo-jumbo religion...)
King George (referencing G.W. Bush)
Imperialism
cabal (Ex. ...the existing Bush cabal/Administration)
supplication
dramedy (a combination of "drama" and "comedy" used to describe Conservatives)
Orwell (or "Orwellian" - describing Orwells novel "1984" and comparing it to the Bush Administration)
tyranny
harrass (harassment)
warmongers
shoeshine brigade (a descriptor for the G.W. Bush Administration used to demean. You can make up your own "bunny bumpers" "baby killers" etc.)
lies (or any derivative - used at LEAST 5 times in any article regarding Bush, his administration, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Delay, Republican, etc.)
murderers (again, a descriptor for Bush, any Republican administration or any branch of the military or a specific soldier)
moron (any derivative - moronic, morons)
uninformed
civilian clones
propoganda
jingoism (jingoist)
Halliburton
barbaric (descriptor for the military)
jet-jocks (descriptor for the air force)
fascism (or use of facist to describe any Republican or military personnel)
nazi (same as above)
Any of the 7 dirty words (must be used multiple times to show outrage)
bigot (description of any Republican in Washington or conservative Judges)
Der Fuhrer (see King George)
Jesus W. (describing G.W. Bush when he mentions God publically)
monkeyboy (describing G.W. Bush)
henchmen (describing the U.S. military)
Puppet Government (describing the current Iraqi government)
Bu$hCo (describing G.W. Bush & Administration)
Impeachment
torture (or tortured)
Abu Grabe
hubris
This is a short list, many many more are available.



Example of the type of sentences these vocabulary words can make:

It is as if these innocent murdered Afghans had never existed. They matter not a bit in the Greater Empire, just as the dozen people killed in a Yippee Shoot by the F-14 fly-boys in Iraq on January 3 are now consigned to the shadowy hell of non-history.

And this is a short list of descriptors to use when railing against those... Right Wing Bastards.

4.) Email other Liberal blogs

It's important to get linked through other blogs with technocrati or other similiar service so the same stories can be propogated and the sharing of far left principles are conveyed to as large of an audience as possible. It's not necessary that there is accuracy here - let's face it, this isn't journalism. Blogs of this type (both Rightwing and Leftwing) are meant to pull together those of similiar thoughts and to confirm that belief by use "creative descriptors" such as the vocabulary above.

5.) Recruit others...

It's difficult to spread dissent, hate and negative stereotypes multiple times per day - that's why you'll need help! Authorize others to write on your blog so they can help you spread the negative words to those who are also negative. Whatever you do, don't offer original thought or ideas into the mix. The purpose of this blog is to rail against something you hate, in this example, the Conservatives. Introducing new thoughts and ideas show optimisim and that's a no-no. Only negative attacks and criticism should be published to stay within the mainstream Liberal blogging. It's okay to criticize other liberals when they too are showing optimisim or, when you can link them to Republicans.

6.) Start writing

Self explainatory.


So there you have it. By following these simple 6 steps, you too can be one of the rabble of pathetic Liberal blogs that spout the same hate, thoughts and talking points by using the same words and vocabulary. In this way, consistency is held and facts are creatively side-stepped for the sake of removing Republicans from running the government of the United States. That IS the goal after all isn't it? Damn the results of such acts - because after all, the biggest enemy of the Liberal is the educated non kool-aide drinker Moderate. Damn those jingoistic moderates - they spout lies from the Nazi neocons and their facist propoganda from the trough of Monkeyboy and his imperialistic henchmen only further supplicant the lies of lies of lies of warmongering civillian clones! Ignorant Wingnut Bitches!


(wow, I'm getting good at this!)